How to Support Your Single Friend When You Are in a Relationship: Tips and Advice

It can be hard to be the only one not in a relationship when all your friends are. As people reach different stages in life, the conversations can focus on relationships and moving to those next steps; mortgage, marriage and kids.   

If you are in a relationship, it’s important you don’t leave your single friends to one side. You must continue to be there and support your single friend, so they know they have other people around who care about them and want them to be happy. Here are some great ways you can help support your single friend when you are in an intimate relationship.

Talk to Your Single Friend About What They Want

As someone in a relationship, trying to “fix” your single friends who are in a relationship can be tempting. You might try to give them dating advice or help them find their perfect partner. However, this may come across as condescending if they’re not looking for a relationship right now or like you pity them if they are struggling.  

It’s a delicate balance, so it’s best to find out what they are looking for and what they would like you to do. Ask them questions, make sure you are in their life and are there for them when they need you. Be careful not to “hover” too much, but being present in your friend’s life can be incredibly helpful.  

Keep Their Need’s in Mind When It Comes to Dating

Be understanding and ensure you know what your single friend would like to see in a partner. Ask them about their type and make sure you don’t judge them for it. It can be incredibly vulnerable to share what you find attractive with people, particularly if it isn’t what society tells us is conventionally attractive. 

It’s also imperative that you refrain from projecting your ideas onto the people they see. While, of course, we think our friends are amazing a deserve the world.  

So long as the person treats them with respect and love and makes your friend happy, your opinions about their appearance, height, job or other superficial requirements do not matter.   

On the flip side, it’s your job as a friend to look out for red flags that might be being ignored and bring them up respectfully to your friend if you feel this is the case. 

Encourage Your Single Friend to Meet New People

It can be tempting to play matchmaker and set your friends up on blind dates with people you think will suit them. Whilst this may work, it can also pressure the friends you are setting up as they can feel the weight of your expectations. Rather than forcing mutuals to get together, consider supporting them to get out and meet new people.   

 It all links back to communication but if your friend wants to try meeting people in a bar or club, offer to be their wing-woman. You can also support them in meeting potential partners by offering to try new hobbies or activities with them.  

Don’t be Dismissive of Online Dating

There can be a lot of stigma around online dating, but the reality is that it is one of the best ways to meet new people for romantic relationships in the modern world. Having the support of the people around you while online dating is one of many ways you can make dating so much easier. 

Offer to help curate an online profile by highlighting their qualities, such as humour or kindness, which you value in your friendship. You can also offer to help by taking nice photos of them when out and about and giving them the confidence to enter the dating scene.  

Especially for LGBTQ+ individuals, finding others can be difficult in person, and depending on where you live potentially dangerous if the person on the receiving end of your friend’s flirtations is homophobic. And so online dating can be an important way of meeting others in the community, whether through a gay local chat line or phone apps like HER and Grinder.   

Make Time for the Two of You

It can be easy to lose all your time in your relationship, so you make sure your single friends feel included. Be conscious of if you are always inviting them to events where they are surrounded by other couples. It’s not enough to ask one other token single person as this can feel like a set-up. Try to ensure that you have a mix of relationship statuses across the table at any large gatherings. 

Don’t be the person who drags your partner to every event. Go on a friend date that doesn’t include your significant other, and focus this time on nurturing your relationship with your friends.

Conclusion

Dating and new people can be overwhelming for anyone, and it can be incredibly overwhelming if you’ve been single for a while and are trying to get back out there.  

This article has provided some great tips and advice on how you can support your single friend when you are dating. Make sure you are open with your single friend and make time for the two of you. Encourage your single friend to make time for the two of you and let them know they can come to you with any complaints or concerns.